The Color of Sympathy Cards

I was putting away all the sympathy cards I received after dad died. I wonder if the greeting card industry gets together and sets a 'color of the year'? They were all the same shade of this pale blue. Maybe psychologists have studied that it's a color that is most soothing. I know that blue, in general, is supposed to be soothing - that's why the IRS uses that color on tax forms.

And the sentiments. I think only people who have had someone die in the last 6 months should write the sentiments. It is so hard to find a sympathy card that isn't cheesy...or overly religious...or...sensless.

Most of them talk about how deeply someone will miss their "loved one". Well what if they won't? What if they weren't that close? Or what if their loved one has been dying a slow, painful death and it's all a relief? Where are those cards?

The Things People Say...or Don't Say....

What did people say when your parent died?

When someone dies in your life, the people around you don't always know what to say.

I guess the people I knew were somewhat lucky. My dad died in England. My brother and I had traveled there to try and see dad before he died: we missed it by about six hours. Dad died early on a Saturday morning (3:30am), so Al and I had to stay a few days to make arrangements and handle the death details. Nothing can get done on a weekend.

So I was out of the country for almost a week and didn't return to the office for a few days past that. So most of the condolences I received were via email. That's actually good. It's less awkward. I mean...really. What do you say?

Most thoughtful: when someone asks "how are you doing?" then actually waits around long enough to listen to my answer.